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strong>WoW Article Joke1:~top
One day a Dwarf, a Paladin, a Night Elf Priest and a Human Warrior decided that the time was right to deal out some justice to some horde rear ends. And what better place to do that than the Horde Central, Kalimdor. They figured the best way to get there was to fly, so they hunted down a freelance goblin Zeppelin.
With transportation and plan secured, they set out from the shores of Teldrassil. Upon landfall they notice a significant amount of horde activity in Darkshore, making a landing something somewhat terminal. Wisely they decided to head inland a bit further, perhaps Felwood.
On their way over the mountains overlooking Darkshore, they are viciously attacked by a large band of Orcs, forcing the goblin pilot to make a hasty retreat. The goblin saved them all from a rather unpleasant death, but the unarmored Zeppelin took significant damage dispite the pilot's best efforts. Losing altitude quickly the Goblin informed the group that if they don't lose a lot of ballast immediately they would find out real quick how forgiving the ground is from this high up. Under a quick consensus, they grabbed hold of the support ropes and cut loose the undercarriage.
Though four of them dangling from ropes, things were not going to improve, they were still falling at a likely fatal rate. So the Goblin informs the group once again that something had to go, lest they find out how forgiving the ground and the horde are. So with nothing to drop except eachother, one of them has to make the ultimate sacrafice.
The Dwarf Paladin scrapes up his courage and announces that it is his duty to protect his allies. "For the honor and glory of Ironforge!" he yells proudly and lets go of his rope, falling to his death
The odds are looking better now, and a crash landing, if somewhat hard, would be survivable. Unfortunately the Goblin determined that would drop them right in the middle of Darkshore, which was currently occupied by plenty of the vengeful horde. If they were to have any hope of survival, they would have to reach the ocean. So the Goblin informed the Elf and the Human of the grim news.
The Elf Priest explained to the other two that he has dedicated all his existance to preserving life, and he was not going to let another go because of his hesitation. So the Priest pulls himself together and exclaims, "May the World Tree live for eternity". The humble Elf lets go and drops to his end.
The Goblin recalculates their trajectory and finds that they will reach just outside the Kalimdor shores. "We are going to make it!" the goblin says joyfully. Overcome with excitement the warrior chears, "YAY!" and claps his hands enthusiastically.
WoW Article Joke 2:~top
A human warrior was captured by a vicious tribe of trolls. Upon being bought to their chief, he tells the human that if he can pass three tasks of great difficulty, he would be released. Failure would result in a slow and painful execution. The warrior agreed.
So the chief told him the three tasks. First on a nearby stump there was a large flaggon of Pandaren ale. The strongest of alcohol in all of Azeroth. He was expected to drink the whole thing.
Secondly there was a mean, angry and particularly starving lioness trapped in a pit in the middle of the troll's villiage. She had a thorn in her paw, and the human had to pull it out.
Finally, in a tent was the chieftain's hideous nymfomaniac daughter, the most insatiable female in the land. His final task was to satisfy her.
So deciding to get the three awful tasks over with as quickly as possible, he picked up the flaggon of ale, popped the cork and promptly gulped down every last drop. Needless to say, the powerful concoction effected him almost immediately.
Dropping the empty flaggon, the human staggered drunkenly towards the lioness' pit, and upon arriving at it tripped over and fell in head first. Hideous screams from the human, and roaring from the lion erupted, as the trolls watched a large dust cloud forming within the pit as the lioness attacked her victim. Then there was silence.
A number of minutes later the tribe was shocked, and admittedly impressed when the human, covered in deep bleeding scratch marks, hauled himself from the pit. Then half limping, half staggering he went up to the chief and slurred triumphantly...
"Well that'sh two of your tasksh done! Now where'sh that lion?"
WoW Article Joke 3: ~top
A Human, Gnome, and Dwarf trio of explorers gets captured by a tribe of Trolls in Stranglethorn vale where, tied to posts and surrounded by the whole tribe, the Witch Doctor confronts them.
He explains to all three: You have been found guilty of violating our territory and must be punished. However, according to our ancient laws, you have the right to choose your punishment!! (he walks up to the human). For tresspassing, your choice of punishment is either Death ... or Ooga-Booga!
<The human doesn't even have to consider. What could be worse than dying in this forsaken wilderness? "I choose Ooga-Booga".
Immediately, he is cut down from the post and tied face-down to the ground. Ten exceptionally large troll warriors step forth and gang-**** him for an hour. Finally, whimpering and bleeding, he is cast into the river and allowed to get away.
Now the Gnome is up. Horrified by what he has seen, he still doesn't want to die and now knows that he can, indeed, get away, He chooses Ooga-Booga as well. He suffers the same humiliating fate as the human, and an hour later he is thrown in the river and gets away.
The proud Dwarf has been listening to screams of pain for two hours now. He looks the witch doctor in the eye and says, I would rather die than be so humiliated. I choose Death!!
"Well spoken, brave warrior!" The witch doctor replies, then raises his voice so the whole tribe can hear. "I hereby sentence you to death --- by Ooga-Booga!!!"
WoW Article Joke 4:~top
A human man had a problem with his... endowment... his organ... since birth. It was related to the size, but unlike many humans who feel they are too small, his was far too large! 25 inches to be precise. Constantly he would have women run screaming from his bedchamber. So one day he decided he'd had enough of this, and went on a long journey to find a solution to this sizable problem.
He went to many doctors, sorcerors, alchemists and shamans. Every expert imaginable who could possibly solve his problem. But sadly none could help him, with out resorting to dangerous and excruciatingly painful methods. The poor man was distraught and ready to give up on his quest, but desperate, he tried one last resort. To go to a foul Troll witch doctor he had heard of, that supposedly had powerful magic. Going to this troll, he paid him a generous amount of gold, the explained his size issues.
The witch doctor nodded. "Yah mon. Dere be a way to solve dis problem. You go to de bog, ten miles to de north. Find de lone female frog, chillin' on 'er lillypad. Den you ask 'er marry you. Every time de frog say no, you're problam get smallah an' smallah mon. Buy five whole inchas."
Sceptical, but willing to give it a go, the man went north to the bog. Just as the Troll had said, there was a lone female frog sitting quietly on her lillypad. So shrugging his shoulders he called out to it.
"Hey frog! Will you marry me?!" She offered the man a cold brief glance, before turning away and snobbishly answering. "No!"
To the man's astonishment, it worked and his 25 incher instantly shrank down to a 20. That foul godless troll had actually told him the truth. Excited now that his long journey had come to an end, he again called out to the frog.
"Hey frog! Will you marry me?! I can give you wow gold"? Seeming a little more pissed off by the advance this time, the frog glared angrily at him. "No!!" Instantly tool shrank to 15 inches. The human was thrilled one more time, and it would be perfect! Ten inches would be great.
"Frog! Marry me! I will give you many many wow gold to buy everything"?Standing up, she glowered at the human with a deadly glare, then started screaming at him. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!?! NO, NO, AND FOR THE LAST TIME..." :D
WowGoldTeam simple comment: That human is indeed?a idiot, be so stupid to ask that angry frog. Without a doubt, Human man have little endowment.
WoW Article Joke 5: ~top
A mighty Orc warrior walks into a tavern to order a drink, and he notices standing on the keys of a nearby piano was a Gnome. A very short Gnome, short for even for one of his kind. And immediately the Gnome starts running up and down the piano keys, dancing, cartwheeling and somersaulting, flawlessly landing on the correct keys time and time again. The music he produced was incredible. This little gnome was just brilliant!
So astonished, the orc walked up to the bartender and asked, "that little gnome is amazing, where did you get him?"
He looked at the Orc and smiled. "Oh I was given this fancy bottle as payment by one of my customers a while back. Upon polishing it, this genie popped out and offered me a single wish. I've had that little guy ever since. Makes me a fortune."
Very curious now the orc asked if he still has this magic bottle, and is excited when the bartender pulls it out from under the table and offers it to him. "Knock yourself out."
Eagerly he accepts the bottle and starts rubbing it, and just as the bartender had claimed, a genie popped out. The magical being stared at the orc and announced, "you have one wish! Make it now!"
Thinking for a few moments, he decided not to be too greedy and just ask for something he had needed for a while. "Okay, Genie. I wish for a nice new axe!"
"Granted!" he said, clapping his hands the vanishing in a puff of smoke. After the smoke cleared the orc found himself holding a nice new pair of slacks.
Angry now, he glared at the bartender. "What's going on?! I didn't ask for nice new slacks, I asked for a nice new axe!"
He smiled back before replying. "You think I asked for a ten inch pianist?"